Yesterday I woke up, read some scripture, hanging out with God. I was reading Hebrews 10. The writer talks about ritual offerings and sacrifices of the Old Testament. Priests used to offer these every year, as a substitution for the consequences of man's sin, thus purifying him to draw near. It questions that if this was the perfect substitution, why would it be necessary to sacrifice every year? However, Christ came, and became the perfect substitution for our death, allowing us to become children of God. Verse 17-18 say, "then he adds, 'I will remember their sins and their lawless deeds no more.' Where there is forgiveness of these, there is no longer any offering for sin. ' " It is as if we never sinned. If God does not hold us accountable, then we do not need to hold ourselves accountable. We are no longer sinners! Live free and love God, and worship him for accepting us as His own.
Verse 19-20 says "Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh,". This reminded me of my vision I saw on Saturday. Pretty cool!
So I was driving back to Harrisonburg yesterday, listening to pastor Dan Mohler, and being encouraged and strengthened in his message of the Gospel. My heart was breaking for people I know as they came to my mind. I was trugging up the mountain it got very foggy. I couldn't see a car length in front of me. And most of this mountain trek is basically on the side of a cliff. Usually I would freak out. As I approached the fog, I saw it as a storm. But when I was in it, I thought of it as the Holy Spirit, and I took my mind off my circumstances and put my focus on Him and I felt a peace, and almost excitement for walking through danger unscathed, and without fear.
I have been so pumped all weekend, to come back to Harrisonburg and love people. I'm not even trying to change people, just love them, because they have been created in God's image and God loves them. So as I pulled up to my house, I literally felt sick to my stomach. I felt far from God, I couldn't think about who God is in me. I almost couldn't pray. I was petrified. And my mind was entirely on me and my roommate. I tried to trust God, but I had tunnel vision on myself. I put on some worship music, but my mind was on my roommate who was basically in the next room. What will he think?.. blah blah blah! Then I went to work and I felt like everyone was my enemy and they were out to get me. I was delivery, so when I drove to take the order I put on some worship music and just broke down before God. I was reminded that all I need to do is love. I was worried about what I would say if they ask me this or that (and who knows if they even would... these were lies and threats). It doesn't matter. I will be given the words to speak. In addition, it doesn't matter what they think about me. So for the last 22hours I have basically been pressing into God hardcore because this place is dark. I can feel deception creeping everywhere.
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